Nature, Tennyson tells us, is red in tooth and claw. Interestingly, Tennyson went to the same school as me although I think he wrote those words long after he’d left. We probably studied in the same classrooms and scrawled graffiti on the same wooden desks. We haven’t had quite the same literary success. That’s as Continue reading

I was recently off work for two weeks and invested that time in a thrilling series of medical investigations. Even more exciting than the seven thirty am blood tests was a late night romp to my local Tesco Extra in search of brandname grub for me and the cat. Once there, I drifted hopelessly around Continue reading

I’ve been very much enjoying my newfound status as a genuine Orchardman. I’ve ordered a book on heritage apples and been back to the field once for a bit of a wander round. I’d been prepared to make gruelling bus trips over to Louth on an almost biweekly basis to water the trees but the Continue reading

I’m a day late blogging and I’m not even sorry. I’ve got big news. Cosmic, blog-altering news. There are spoilers in the above photograph. Before that though, a catch up on the week’s other events. I had intended to head over to Louth and get some work done on the orchard site but I ended Continue reading

It feels like this blog is approaching a natural conclusion despite the protestations of almost one of its several readers. I’ve got space. I sort of vaguely know what I’m doing. And, perhaps even more importantly, I now have some trees that will soon start depositing apples amongst the piles of horse and cow poo Continue reading

As with every field trip, this one began with me hyperventilating at a bus stop near Lincoln prison, trying to decipher poorly illuminated bus numbers. I don’t want to dwell on the embarrassment involved so let’s just pretend I got it right first time and wasn’t on the receiving end of a series of irate Continue reading

If I’m going to name my orchard after it, and that’s by no means a done deal, I’ve decided I should know a bit more about Ticklepenny Lock. To that end, I hied me hence to the Lincolnshire Archive and did some research. By which I mean that I read a couple of manuscripts that Continue reading

This week, out of the goodness of my heart, I treated me and my cat to a takeaway. I’m not a rich man so food cooked by professionals that actually know what they’re doing is a rare treat and I was looking forward to it. It was a warm day so the back door was Continue reading

Strictly speaking this blog post doesn’t contain any actual perfidy but it’s a cracking word that I’ve not had the opportunity to use in real life so there you go. Rest assured there’s enough trespass to make up for it. Consumed by the righteousness of my cause, this week I vaulted onboard another Stagecoach into Continue reading

As a youngster, I used to take great delight in making life hard for my teachers. That was what kids did back then, even ones as painfully nerdy as me. When I eventually became a man, a couple of months before my recent fiftieth birthday, I honestly intended to turn my back on such jiggery Continue reading