2021
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A Tale of Two Buses (and very little else)
Unbidden and largely unannounced, wildlife has moved into my orchard and made a home of it. I’ve been sent photos of first one and then a pair of gaudy pheasants mooching around the saplings and helping themselves to the grounded scatterings near the bird feeders. I don’t know a lot about birds so in order Continue reading
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All Things Bramley: Bramley Festival 2021
Saturday was Bramley Festival, an annual celebration in the Nottinghamshire home of the legendary apple tree. Never let it be said that I’m not prepared to suffer for my art. Riddled with Gout, face contorting with distress at the almost noticeable pain in my big toe, I hobbled to the train station on Saturday morning Continue reading
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The Curious Case of the Two Foot Apple Rustler
Another day, another alarming photo on WhatsApp prompting a rescue mission back to Louth. Something or someone has taken some bites out of a Broadholme Beauty and I mean to find out who. You can’t expect animals to be aware of the intricacies of property law so I’m not angry, but I might have to Continue reading
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Caving in to the Haters
Last month somebody I once considered a friend made accusations about the honesty of this blog, specifically alleging that it was impossible to dig a hole three foot deep with only two spades. “You need an angle to get the mud out,” he said. “What you’re describing just wouldn’t work.” Well, check out the picture Continue reading
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August: those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer
This is the first of a new style of journal-like blog entries that I’ve been inspired to try after reading too many books by John Lewis-Stempel. The plan is to intersperse them with my normal adventures but, so far at least, adventures have been notable only by their absence. Still, by cunningly setting a low Continue reading
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Here Comes the Summer
I’m getting slacker by the day with regards to this blog so I’ve changed tack slightly. I’ll produce a monthly journal style post and then occasional special reports when something exciting happens. Don’t expect a lot of them. If this tips you over the edge towards unsubscribing, I commend your wisdom and thank you for Continue reading
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Aargh, no. Leaf Curl!
Before I rose from an extended lie-in last week, photos winged their way through the ether depicting actual apples on my trees in Ticklepenny. By the time I’d had my weekly cold shower and dragged on the only pair of jeans I can still get around my stomach, my excitement had reached fever pitch. It Continue reading
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Sometimes the Universe just sucks
This has been a difficult post to write. I am not into horse riding. Horses themselves I kind of like, in much the same way as I like most other animals. I’ve developed a grudging respect for the prodigious amount of crap they can produce per day and the ability of said crap to delight Continue reading
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Back on the Buses
The long wait is over. Now we’ve entered a slightly more relaxed stage of lockdown, I’m allowed on the bus back to Louth. I’m still not sure whether I could have claimed it was an essential journey last week but no worries, what’s done is done. I can’t wait to see my trees. And my Continue reading
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And that, Dear Reader, was Pretty Much That
Last year, when I had my windows redone so they were less rickety old bits of wood and more newfangled bits of plastic, I caused the salesman some consternation by insisting on a bathroom window that opened horizontally so I could look out on the city whilst doing my business. This week, as I sat Continue reading
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About Me
I’ve been writing about orchards and Lincolnshire heritage apples for over five years and still don’t know my arse from my elbow. This blog is supposed to be an almost humorous record of my attempts to raise apple trees in a field just outside Louth. Mrs Toogood is just one of the lost varieties I probably won’t find.
The Appeal of Mrs Toogood 