Lincolnshire
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The Great Wassail Swindle
Wassailing is an ancient tradition that is enjoying a bit of a resurgence these days. In times of yore, groups of people would parade through towns and villages singing songs and serenading the Wassail Queen (some historians would have you believe it laid the foundations for what was to become carol singing). Eventually the bevvied Continue reading
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First Cider Brew
Last year’s harvest felt at the time like a bumper crop. Spindly branches heaved with fruit, bending low to the ground and offering easy pickings to the local wildlife. I’m all for sharing the wealth but the critters would never finish one apple before moving on to the next. Frustrated, I enlisted family and friends Continue reading
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A New False Dawn
Writer’s note: this post is a summary of all the nonsense that has gone before. Don’t waste precious time reading it if you’ve been around for a while. Some years ago, my dad took early retirement from the offices of the local district council with a decent lump sum and, I think it’s fair to Continue reading
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Nothing to See Here
Most of my trees are heaving with infant apples. Branches that I should have pruned in the winter are bending under the strain and resting their loads on the ground for the local rabbits. A few of them look like they might be about to give in under the weight. The apples are so closely Continue reading
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The Green Man and Me
I’ve told a lot of people about this blog and my orchard over the last few years, always pretending to protest that they won’t be interested but secretly desperate to bang on about my passion project. Normally, what happens after I’ve explained the vagaries of finding trees in the wild is that they smile and Continue reading
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Pork Pies and Poldark
After an eighteen-month absence there is a lot of work that needs doing to bring the orchard up to a respectable standard. It doesn’t take a Level 3 Certificate in Orcharding (available from the Permaculture Association) to spot that the trees have been neglected. Branches swing and cross haphazardly from leaning trunks, and everywhere you Continue reading
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A Sort of Homecoming
It’s been a while since I last visited my orchard. Maybe a double while, if that’s a thing. Back in the cold, dark days of January last year I went a-wassailing round the trees with a friend of mine but instead of blogging about it I sent it off to The Poacher magazine and braced Continue reading
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The Saturday Pits
It seems unlikely now as I look out the window but there were days earlier last year when going outside didn’t seem quite so hazardous. A flask of coffee, a lump of cake and I could be away, off across the fields with almost no chance of either drowning in a flash flood or being Continue reading
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Tree Story
Last Autumn, I left behind the bright lights and bustling streets of Lincoln and moved back to Louth, the Wolds market town where I took my first half-hearted steps towards adulthood. When I moved into my new house I found a suspicious looking plant in the back garden, hiding behind a bush as if it Continue reading
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Courting Tom Green
I first met Tom during an in-store collection for Lincoln Foodbank. As I begged innocent shoppers for a spare Fray Bentos pie or two, an elderly gentleman in traditional countryside attire hobbled towards me with a look that somehow managed to look both cheerful and threatening. Here we go, I thought to myself. You always Continue reading
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About Me
I’ve been writing about orchards and Lincolnshire heritage apples for over five years and still don’t know my arse from my elbow. This blog is supposed to be an almost humorous record of my attempts to raise apple trees in a field just outside Louth. Mrs Toogood is just one of the lost varieties I probably won’t find.
