The Appeal of Mrs Toogood

Amateur adventures in orcharding


Lincolnshire

  • It Wasn’t You, It Was Me

    I’ve got some pretty mixed emotions when I consider resurrecting this ancient blog. I always enjoyed writing it and I know there were at least three people who didn’t mind reading it just to make me feel better about myself, but the problem is the orchard. I just can’t bring myself to fall madly in Continue reading

  • A Tale of Two Buses (and very little else)

    Unbidden and largely unannounced, wildlife has moved into my orchard and made a home of it. I’ve been sent photos of first one and then a pair of gaudy pheasants mooching around the saplings and helping themselves to the grounded scatterings near the bird feeders. I don’t know a lot about birds so in order Continue reading

  • The Curious Case of the Two Foot Apple Rustler

    Another day, another alarming photo on WhatsApp prompting a rescue mission back to Louth. Something or someone has taken some bites out of a Broadholme Beauty and I mean to find out who. You can’t expect animals to be aware of the intricacies of property law so I’m not angry, but I might have to Continue reading

  • Caving in to the Haters

    Last month somebody I once considered a friend made accusations about the honesty of this blog, specifically alleging that it was impossible to dig a hole three foot deep with only two spades. “You need an angle to get the mud out,” he said. “What you’re describing just wouldn’t work.” Well, check out the picture Continue reading

  • August: those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer

    This is the first of a new style of journal-like blog entries that I’ve been inspired to try after reading too many books by John Lewis-Stempel. The plan is to intersperse them with my normal adventures but, so far at least, adventures have been notable only by their absence. Still, by cunningly setting a low Continue reading

  • Here Comes the Summer

    I’m getting slacker by the day with regards to this blog so I’ve changed tack slightly. I’ll produce a monthly journal style post and then occasional special reports when something exciting happens. Don’t expect a lot of them. If this tips you over the edge towards unsubscribing, I commend your wisdom and thank you for Continue reading

  • Aargh, no. Leaf Curl!

    Before I rose from an extended lie-in last week, photos winged their way through the ether depicting actual apples on my trees in Ticklepenny. By the time I’d had my weekly cold shower and dragged on the only pair of jeans I can still get around my stomach, my excitement had reached fever pitch. It Continue reading

  • Sometimes the Universe just sucks

    This has been a difficult post to write. I am not into horse riding. Horses themselves I kind of like, in much the same way as I like most other animals. I’ve developed a grudging respect for the prodigious amount of crap they can produce per day and the ability of said crap to delight Continue reading

  • Back on the Buses

    The long wait is over. Now we’ve entered a slightly more relaxed stage of lockdown, I’m allowed on the bus back to Louth. I’m still not sure whether I could have claimed it was an essential journey last week but no worries, what’s done is done. I can’t wait to see my trees. And my Continue reading

  • Cider Making for Weedy Amateurs

    Here’s a fascinating fact. Apples have so much natural yeast on their skins that if you leave them alone, they’ll just alcoholise themselves. That’s definitely true and proves that cider (hard cider to my American friends) is the natural way that God intended apples to be consumed. Probably. I’m fairly certain I read that somewhere Continue reading

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About Me

I’ve been writing about orchards and Lincolnshire heritage apples for over five years and still don’t know my arse from my elbow. This blog is supposed to be an almost humorous record of my attempts to raise apple trees in a field just outside Louth. Mrs Toogood is just one of the lost varieties I probably won’t find.