Orchards
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Nothing to See Here
Most of my trees are heaving with infant apples. Branches that I should have pruned in the winter are bending under the strain and resting their loads on the ground for the local rabbits. A few of them look like they might be about to give in under the weight. The apples are so closely Continue reading
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The Green Man and Me
I’ve told a lot of people about this blog and my orchard over the last few years, always pretending to protest that they won’t be interested but secretly desperate to bang on about my passion project. Normally, what happens after I’ve explained the vagaries of finding trees in the wild is that they smile and Continue reading
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Pork Pies and Poldark
After an eighteen-month absence there is a lot of work that needs doing to bring the orchard up to a respectable standard. It doesn’t take a Level 3 Certificate in Orcharding (available from the Permaculture Association) to spot that the trees have been neglected. Branches swing and cross haphazardly from leaning trunks, and everywhere you Continue reading
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A Sort of Homecoming
It’s been a while since I last visited my orchard. Maybe a double while, if that’s a thing. Back in the cold, dark days of January last year I went a-wassailing round the trees with a friend of mine but instead of blogging about it I sent it off to The Poacher magazine and braced Continue reading
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Tree Story
Last Autumn, I left behind the bright lights and bustling streets of Lincoln and moved back to Louth, the Wolds market town where I took my first half-hearted steps towards adulthood. When I moved into my new house I found a suspicious looking plant in the back garden, hiding behind a bush as if it Continue reading
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Courting Tom Green
I first met Tom during an in-store collection for Lincoln Foodbank. As I begged innocent shoppers for a spare Fray Bentos pie or two, an elderly gentleman in traditional countryside attire hobbled towards me with a look that somehow managed to look both cheerful and threatening. Here we go, I thought to myself. You always Continue reading
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It Wasn’t You, It Was Me
I’ve got some pretty mixed emotions when I consider resurrecting this ancient blog. I always enjoyed writing it and I know there were at least three people who didn’t mind reading it just to make me feel better about myself, but the problem is the orchard. I just can’t bring myself to fall madly in Continue reading
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A Tale of Two Buses (and very little else)
Unbidden and largely unannounced, wildlife has moved into my orchard and made a home of it. I’ve been sent photos of first one and then a pair of gaudy pheasants mooching around the saplings and helping themselves to the grounded scatterings near the bird feeders. I don’t know a lot about birds so in order Continue reading
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The Curious Case of the Two Foot Apple Rustler
Another day, another alarming photo on WhatsApp prompting a rescue mission back to Louth. Something or someone has taken some bites out of a Broadholme Beauty and I mean to find out who. You can’t expect animals to be aware of the intricacies of property law so I’m not angry, but I might have to Continue reading
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Caving in to the Haters
Last month somebody I once considered a friend made accusations about the honesty of this blog, specifically alleging that it was impossible to dig a hole three foot deep with only two spades. “You need an angle to get the mud out,” he said. “What you’re describing just wouldn’t work.” Well, check out the picture Continue reading
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About Me
I’ve been writing about orchards and Lincolnshire heritage apples for over five years and still don’t know my arse from my elbow. This blog is supposed to be an almost humorous record of my attempts to raise apple trees in a field just outside Louth. Mrs Toogood is just one of the lost varieties I probably won’t find.
The Appeal of Mrs Toogood 