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All Things Bramley: Bramley Festival 2021
Saturday was Bramley Festival, an annual celebration in the Nottinghamshire home of the legendary apple tree. Never let it be said that I’m not prepared to suffer for my art. Riddled with Gout, face contorting with distress at the almost noticeable pain in my big toe, I hobbled to the train station on Saturday morning Continue reading
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The Curious Case of the Two Foot Apple Rustler
Another day, another alarming photo on WhatsApp prompting a rescue mission back to Louth. Something or someone has taken some bites out of a Broadholme Beauty and I mean to find out who. You can’t expect animals to be aware of the intricacies of property law so I’m not angry, but I might have to Continue reading
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Caving in to the Haters
Last month somebody I once considered a friend made accusations about the honesty of this blog, specifically alleging that it was impossible to dig a hole three foot deep with only two spades. “You need an angle to get the mud out,” he said. “What you’re describing just wouldn’t work.” Well, check out the picture Continue reading
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August: those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer
This is the first of a new style of journal-like blog entries that I’ve been inspired to try after reading too many books by John Lewis-Stempel. The plan is to intersperse them with my normal adventures but, so far at least, adventures have been notable only by their absence. Still, by cunningly setting a low Continue reading
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Aargh, no. Leaf Curl!
Before I rose from an extended lie-in last week, photos winged their way through the ether depicting actual apples on my trees in Ticklepenny. By the time I’d had my weekly cold shower and dragged on the only pair of jeans I can still get around my stomach, my excitement had reached fever pitch. It Continue reading
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Sometimes the Universe just sucks
This has been a difficult post to write. I am not into horse riding. Horses themselves I kind of like, in much the same way as I like most other animals. I’ve developed a grudging respect for the prodigious amount of crap they can produce per day and the ability of said crap to delight Continue reading
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Back to the Cider Press
Last week’s account of my intrepid expedition to an orchard was read a lot more times than my normal drivel. Obviously, that’s massively flattering but also a bit unnerving. Even if my mum read it even more times than she normally does, there’s probably at least five new punters wondering what the hell they’re wasting Continue reading
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Cider Making for Weedy Amateurs
Here’s a fascinating fact. Apples have so much natural yeast on their skins that if you leave them alone, they’ll just alcoholise themselves. That’s definitely true and proves that cider (hard cider to my American friends) is the natural way that God intended apples to be consumed. Probably. I’m fairly certain I read that somewhere Continue reading
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Fuelled by Haslet
For want of anything better to do with a fortnight of barely deserved annual leave, this week I decided to go apple hunting. I’m nearly two years in to this project and I’m yet to make any progress towards recovering Lincolnshire’s lost appley heritage. The list of missing varieties has about 40 entries but there’s Continue reading
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Spreadsheets
After the breathless thrill ride of my last two posts, this week’s offering largely concerns a spreadsheet. Everyone loves a spreadsheet, by which I of course mean my friend Bethan loves a spreadsheet. I’ve changed her name slightly to protect her identity, not that she, or indeed anyone else, reads this nonsense. That’ll teach me Continue reading
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About Me
I’ve been writing about orchards and Lincolnshire heritage apples for over five years and still don’t know my arse from my elbow. This blog is supposed to be an almost humorous record of my attempts to raise apple trees in a field just outside Louth. Mrs Toogood is just one of the lost varieties I probably won’t find.
The Appeal of Mrs Toogood 